


Mario Kart Mondays

by ChunkahCherry



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bromance, awkward Egbert, hardcore mario kart, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-13 12:53:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1227070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChunkahCherry/pseuds/ChunkahCherry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John visits the infamous Strider household once he moves to Texas for an evening of video games, sword fights, and general fun. And Bro harasses the pizza boy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Formatting got fucked up, je regrette. It will be fixed once I get on an actual computer.

"Welcome to casa de Strider for our infamous Mario Kart Mondays little man and little man's friend," Bro opened the door fully with a wide sweeping arm gesture. Dave pushed passed him with a jerk of his head that meant he was probably rolling his eyes and John hesitantly stepped into the Strider's apartment. From all the horror stories Dave had told him about over the years, John was slightly afraid to see it in person once he and his father moved the Texas. John was pleasantly surprised that not /every/ surface was covered in the creepy snippets he'd hear so much about and that Dave's older brother was wearing a normal polo and jeans. Normal if you didn't count his anime shades. "My name is John Egbert, thank you for having me over Mr. Strider," he politely stuck his hand out for a handshake. Bro high fived it then said, "God, you're definitely Josh's kid. Just call me Bro, everyone does. And by everyone I mean Dave over here-" he paused to affectionately give Dave a noogie "-and the pizza boy." Dave mouthed the word 'boyfriend' from under his brother's arm and twisted out of the strange embrace. "Bro, I'm hungry. I need food," Dave informed his brother as he stepped into the kitchen that was to the left of the entrance and began pawing through a drawer overflowing with what looked like take out menus. John began toeing off his sneakers to leave them on the door but he was stopped with the explanation of, "I don't know what half the shot laying on the floor is from. And I don't want to get sued if you step on a sword or get cholera or some shit like that." Thoroughly afraid now, John relaxed his shoes and joined Dave in selecting their dinner. "You weren't lying when you told me your brother was weird," John whispered. Bro appeared out of nowhere behind the two of them and placed his hands on their shoulders. John jumped a mile into the air, but Dave didn't even flinch. "Ladies, have you forgotten what tonight is?" "Goddamnit Bro, we've had pizza six times in the last week," Dave turned to glare at his brother through his shades. "Dave just doesn't want me to get laid. He wants his poor brother to die sexually frustrated, yearning for a toned, rugged Englishman with a very nice-" "I don't care anymore. I don't care," Dave had thankfully cut him off. "Just get me a Hawaiin." The brothers paused, and John was very afraid. His initial judgements about the Strider household were wrong, they were really fucking weird. John casually walked back a few steps. "Dave, pineapple is for pussies. Did I raise a goddamn cat?" "I'll go get the skirt," Dave trudged out of the room slow enough for John to follow. "So freakin' weird," John elaborated on his earlier comment. Dave just nodded and after disappearing into a random closet, came back with a grass skirt on over his skinny jeans and a lei for John. "You get used to it," Dave shrugged and then led John to his room where he showed him his latest mixes until the doorbell rang. The two boys tripped over themselves to get to the doorframe where they secretly spied on Bro. Bro answered the door shirtless and had an awkward conversation with a blushing British man that went something like this: "H-here's your pizza Mr. Strider." "You can just call me Bro, everyone does." "Ah, okay...Bro. I hope the sauce is to your liking this time." "You can sauce my pizza anytime." After Bro paid and the heavily blushing pizza boy went away, he sat down with his back to the door and a grin spread across his face. "You sicken me," Dave told him, grabbing a slice of pizza and handing the rest of the box to John. "You'll be sick when I kick your ass at Mario Kart." John supposed it was sort of strange that Dave's older bro was hanging out with them the first time John was over attheor appartment, but nothing seemed normal in the Strider household. Except that they were currently arguing over who got to sit wear. John plunked himself right in the middle of them, effectively ending their arguing. As Bro set up the Wii and the boys tore into the pizza, another question arose, who would choose what character. "I pick Bowser, I play to win," John blurted out without thinking, turning red with a strand of cheese hanging out of his mouth. Dave nodded at him in acceptance and Bro chuckled. "I like you, you can have Dave's hand in marriage at any time." The younger blonde protested, picking a piece of pineapple off his pizza to throw at Bro, but missing completely and having it land on his converse. Attempting to distract everyone from his uncool accident Dave cleared his throat and announced that he would be Princess Peach. For the irony. "I'm the queen of this household so I obviously get to be Peach." "Too bad Peach is a princess, not a queen then." John laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation, doubling over on laughter as they went back and forth until they both yelled, "Strife!" Bro opened a window and disappeared while Dave ran over to the fridge. He paused to take a swig of apple juice, reshelve a few fallen boxes of poptarts, grab a shitty sword and disappear out the window. John vaguely heard a, "David Elizabeth Strider! Go get your guest and bring him up here you ass," before Dave a swooped in and scooped him up bridal style. John wrapped his arms around Dave's neck and stared at the pair of shades he had given Dave for his birthday one year. John felt his stomach drop out from under him as they hovered briefly with nothing between them and certain death. John felt his heartbeat raising and a strange feeling of anxious excitement blossom within him. Then Dave unceremoniously dumped John on the ground and fromhis crumpled position John yelled, "Why the hell did you grab my butt Dave?!?" To which his only reply was, "No homo." John watched in fascination as their swords connected and they exchanged blows in a violent dance he could only half see. It was the first of many times he watched the Striders strife, which is how they solved most of their disagreements. It was the first of many times where Dave pouted over having to play as Princess Daisy and John kicking their asses anyways. It was the first of many times he stayed up late talking to Dave, lying in bed next to him, then completely regretting it when they had to sprint down all those fucking stairs with toast hanging out of their mouths so they wouldn't be late to school. It was the first of many, many, Mario Kart Mondays.


	2. Best Bros Totally Kiss Ironically Like, All the Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Less of a B in the romance which means they make out. Yay.

It was another Mario Kart Monday. Over the year and a half since he moved, John grew used to the eccentricities of the Strider household. The adjustment was rather easy considering that John was over so much, it was like his second home (and vice-versa for Dave).  
They stopped having pizza every time since Jake the pizza boy started willingly coming over. It was mostly willingly, John thought, but you can never know with Bro.  
John still kicked their asses at Mario Kart, but Dave had started sabotaging John by pushing him over or throwing junk food at him. Eventually they moved on to other video games, and other things like teaching John how to strife so Dave could win for once, but Mario Kart Mondays still stuck as a name for their Monday night gatherings.  
After holding an intense series of pokemon battles and filling themselves with Indian take out, John and Dave retired to Dave's room for the night. Actually, it was less of a dignified exit and more of a "We were being little shits and mocking Bro and his boyfriend so he threatened us with unspeakable things and sent us to Dave's room where we blasted every vaguely homosexual song we know and sung loudly to it to be mood killers." The song 'I Kissed a Girl' may or may not have been over abused in the thirty minute time frame.  
Once Bro screamed loudly about how he wasn't getting it on with English and Jake also attempted to yell so Bro would not be heard, the boys collapsed on the bed, tears streaming down John's face and deep guffaws coming out of Dave as they laughed, his shitty facade broken.  
"Dave! Dave!" John wheezed, gasping for breath. "Your dork is showing!" He exclaimed and that only made them laugh harder.  
It was quite a while before they calmed down, but when they crashed, they crashed hard. John and Dave consumes enough soda Ho-Hos to take down a small elephant. A few obnoxious hours of their late night sugar high lasted before they flopped down onto Dave's bed, pillow fort abandoned-because fuck, they were teenagers and they could make pillow forts if they wanted.  
John was too tired to change into his sweatpants and Dave didn't feel like he could properly move, let alone shimmie out of a pair of skin tight skinny jeans. They laid here next to each other in the dark, counting their breaths and secretly wishing-and dreading-that the othe boy was doing the same. Dave, still wearing his shades, turned to John, waiting a moment before he spoke. He chose each word carefully so that the fib word sentence would not rain a monsoon of destruction and hell no down on their friendship. Despite spending time considering his words beforehand, Dave gracefully blurted out, "I think we should kiss!" John contemplated faking sleep for a moment, but instead he shifted and asked, "What the hell? Is this another one of your shitty jokes." "Well yeah, it was kinda a joke. A baby partial joke like the actual joke was a crack addict and only left this tiny gross baby newborn behind that I guess was like part of a kid? It's just that neither of us have had any experience in the romance department so we won't have to get dissed by "The One" as they mock our terrible kissing skills.Not that I'd be terrible at anything, but it's the thought that counts, right? I better send that shit a greeting card because..." Dave trailed off feeling bad that he vomitted all these words on to John and them leave him to clean up the situation. "How can kissing boys help for kissing girls? I bet it's not the same and-" "I know, I know, you're not gay. You claim you're not anyways," Dave mumbled. "Well I'm not attracted to men! Ha!" "Bro, I saw your shittily hidden stack of Calvin Klein magazines." John went pale for a second, "H-how do you know?? Maybe I just want to design men's clothes!" "Sorry, my mistake. You want to design men's underwear. Because that is the epitome of straight." John shoved at Dave's shoulder, trying to bullshit another excuse, but too tired to do so. It was under the pretext of this tiredness that he allowed his hand to linger on his best friend's shoulder. Dave had given up all hope on the kiss and forced himself to be content with the feeling on John next to him and the hand on his shoulder that stayed there a bit longer than he expected. John sat up and slowly took off his glasses, folding them and putting them on Dave's cluttered nightstand. John took a deep breath and said, You have to take off your glasses too." It took Dave a moment to realize what John meant. He would finally be able to do the stupid thing that would hopefully get stupidly unhelpful thoughts of John out of his mind. Dave hesitantly took off his shades, though John had already seen his ruby reds during a rather intense strifing session. The two boys were now sitting up without their glasses and with Dave's card suit sheets crumbled at their waists.

John leaned in to kiss Dave, his eyes shut tight and face screwed up in what looked like painful concentration in the dim lighting until Dave paused him with a palm on his chest. Dave gently took John's hands and placed them on his shoulders while he wrapped his arms around John's neck. He had watched far too many romantic comedies than he would want to admit, it was beyond being romantic.  
After the first few false starts, John opened his eyes and cupped his warm hand against Dave's jaw, making him jump in surprise and also open his eyes, while lowering his other hand to rest it on the small of Dave's back. Dave's ankles hurt from being uncomfortably tucked beneath him, but Dave could only feel the smothering Texas heat and hear the whir of his cheap window fan and feel as if every piece of skin Egbert was touching was on fire.  
"If we're gonna do this we have to do it right, right?" John questioned, laughing awkwardly at the end.  
Dave nodded stiffly and as he slowly closed their eyes once more, their holds on each other tightened and their lips softly brushed together with a feather light touch. They sat still, noses touching, feeling the others warm breath on their face and they waited until Dav angled his face up and firmly pressed his lips to John's sliding them so that they were sandwiched in-between.  
They broke apart once again, and their eyes met, not sure what the unidentifiable emotion they were feeling was, but definitely enjoying it. John cleared his throat to say something to relieve the palpable tension in he air, but their lips ended up meeting again and again, until they were tender and swollen from the intensity of the kiss. There was some saliva on their chins and the smacking sounds they were making seemed too loud, but with their hearts beating overtime and ready to burst, it seemed right.  
John leaned forward and pulled Dave's body flush to his, casually slipping his tongue into Dave's mouth. As they tried to angle their faces more and their tongues slid together and fuck, Egbert's stupid buck teeth were scraping his tongue, but the Strider didn't care. He had a surreal moment, realizing that he was tonguing his best friend and he was in John's lap and it seemed like they had half-boners and he couldn't help but start to laugh.  
And as Dave laughed, John couldn't help but start laughing too so they had to disconnect their mouths and Dave untangled his fingers from John's hair. John hid his face in Dave's shoulder, saying something he couldn't quite make out but was probably along the lines of 'holy shit, did we just do that?' but Dave only cared about the rumbling vibrations John's voice made against his shoulder that was comforting and just felt so fucking nice. He was terribly content and knew he was falling for the dork, hard.  
Dave ran his fingers through John's hair, who didn't protest. They had all of tomorrow to figure out what they were and why it happened, but right then they just enjoyed each others presences. And maybe kissed a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously had to stop myself while writing this, like nope, no late night pwp for you. This might be it. I dunno yet. Hmmmm....

**Author's Note:**

> That was fun to write~ Look forward to possibly another chapter where there is less emphasis on the 'b' in bromance if ya know what I mean. *wonks


End file.
